The Future of Lying

 The act of lying is perhaps the most difficult to rate in terms of seriousness. In conversation, it is often used as an example of an insignificant offense, such as saying, "We can't throw people in jail for every immoral deed. If we did for lying no one would be left!" However, it can also be considered the most grave offense in a different context.

Warren Buffett once said, "In looking for people to hire, look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you." In any professional or personal relationship, without a foundation in honesty and trust there can be no merit to any other redeeming qualities. Furthermore, knowing basic facts such as intentions, capabilities, and history can become impossible.

However, what of the little white lies that so often are told, never detected, and often even forgotten by the liar? The line can even become blurred on what truly constitutes a lie when a misrepresentation is used. One might, bring up a real traffic jam encountered to explain tardiness, without mentioning that they left their house late in addition. Does a system of morality compel them to unnecessarily divulge their guiltiness, perhaps even to exclude the real but unimpactful traffic jam? 

Such questions about the common lies told daily by most people are divulged in a TED talk by Jeff Hancock in 2012.

Direct Link

In this talk several studies are discussed that explore the ways people lie online versus in-person. Perhaps surprisingly, the study found the test subjects lying much more frequently in-person than online in most metrics. For example, e-mails were shown to contain much fewer lies than phone calls. One reason for this may be the pressure, being put on the spot, that might drive someone to panic and lie when a well thought out e-mail might allow them to find a truthful response that would protect their relationship. And this takes us to the motivation for lying.

Aside from a small amount of pathological liars mentioned, most lies are done actually to protect relationships. Claiming to be busy and can't talk, when really they are simply not interested but want to spare the other's feelings, is one of the most common modern lies told. There are other motivations, but when it comes to little white lies most of the motivations seem to relate to preserving a relationship. My personal take in contrast to the presentation, is that ego plays a large part. Sparing a friends feelings may be a motivator for most, but many times its a sense of pride and a fear of embarrassment that's even more powerful when it comes to discussing a failure.

So, what has changed about all of this within the last 20 or so years? Despite the anonymity of the internet allowing certain kinds of lies (like fraud) to flourish, when it comes to interpersonal relationships online communication has the opposite effects. There is now a permanent record of everything we say online, inescapable. Using other forms of communication lies could be used to escape being caught in a prior lie, like creating doubt that the listener heard correctly, or attacking another's credibility. But now, text messages and social media posts speak for themselves. In a way, many people continuing personal relationships online have fewer lies they can possibly tell.

We are now made more available than ever before. Back in the 1970s, you had a home phone but no answering machine. Consequently, there was far less expected contact, so we had much less reason to lie in certain respects. There is no need to say the cell phone battery died to explain not responding for a full day. Our expectations drive people into a corner where they either have to be brutally honest, or come up with white lies to preserve the status quo. However, lying is more difficult now due to the lasting record.

In conclusion, there is no real conclusion here as this topic is incredibly broad and nuanced. Our technologies enable certain kinds of lies, while making other kinds more difficult, but don't change our core motivations much. We're still humans with the tendency to lie. In the 8 years since the TED talk linked, I believe the propensity for lying online has gotten much worse. When honesty becomes scarce in a society, those who humble themselves and display it shall be exalted.